Photo Meme

Horrible horrible hotlinking ahead!

1. The age you'll be on your next birthday...


2. Your favorite color...


3. Your middle name...


4. The place you lost your virginity (or would like to lose your virginity if you haven't...)


5. A bad habit of yours...


6. Your favorite fruit or vegetable...


7. Your favorite animal...


8. The town you live in...


9. The name of a pet...


10. Your best friend's nickname...


11. Your last name...


12. The one you love..


I'm watching the roast of Bob Saget. Its hilarious.

OC Transpo Strike

I stole this from Alaina's livejournal.

Creativity and the Sims

Meredith and I had to think up a discription for a novel my sim wrote on the fly. It had to be a romance novel that involved a ship, crime, ambulances, and sorcery. This is what we came up with

CRIME CRUISE
When Celia Cockburn climbs aboard the S.S. Deltabreast she has an instant dislike for Captain Dex Ruffston. When Captain Ruffston needs her help in the investigation of her roommate's murder, occult specialist Celia is called on deck! The witch hunt brings her closer than ever to any man she has ever met. Will the Captain's steeley eyes and powerful triceps warm her witchy heart?

BREATHTAKING!

I am slightly tired so I'm going to bed but here's the current heir in my legacy (well she has a baby so technically her daughter is the current heir, but you know).

Soo Good

So Joel missed out on every "giant ass bird" related meal because he's in Norway. Now that I'm here with him I promptly made him a "giant ass bird" meal we've decided to call New ThanksChristmaKuhh.



Okay we did it together it wasn't all me. haha. Plus he did all the cleaning up after like a good boy.We used the traditional "shove in a beer can" method to cook the turkey. It was actually really really moist. Better than the turkey I cooked at the hostel on Thanksgiving. Perhaps thanks to Joel's frequent and gentle basting.


Oh god. I'm so glad this picture of me exists. Joel has much to learn of carving turkey's still.



We named it affectionately but we forget now. After we feasted Joel, for lack of a better term, desecrated the poor things body to become Psycho!Joel the Bird-Armed Man.


He's a beautiful beautiful man... That's for sure.

Happy 2009 + Weird Dream

I had a dry New Years but it was lovely. I generally always end up back at my parents for New Years because that's where I am for Christmas. (With the exception of last years wonderful Wii-fest culminating with me and Alison drunkenly exploring Kat's parent's gigantic bed.) That's why it was an absolute treat to stand on the end of the pier in Arendal and watch the fireworks go off all around me.

There were maybe a dozen different places around the inlet shooting fireworks. Joel had tons of candy in his pocket from his Xmas stocking and was constantly feeding them to me. It was colder than the Virgin Mary's vagina out there but it was lovely. Ducks were frightened slightly and the amount of sulphur in the air was considerable- but the ducks will live to quack another day and the sulphur just masked the smell of our excited farts of anticipation for the year to come. We came home and had hot chocolate and played with Captain Jack and went to bed with a warm fire going.

I hope everyone had a wonderful New Year's Eve and I hope lots of exciting things for all of us in 2009 "as 2008 mercifully draws to a close".

I totally had a weird Burn Gorman public swimming pool sex dream! On New Years! It was so alarming. What's worse is that in my dream I seemed to remember a previous time doing it with him. Like we were FwB or something. Oh god... his mouth...



There was also an active pursuit on my part. He was quite reluctant like; "Oh no, I'm not going down THAT road again!" and then slowly caved in to my seduction. Also, we were never completely naked thank god. We seemed to always have our undies on. Except for the moment of you know, penetration. EW EW EW EW EW EW EW

Sorry I had to subject that to you all. Especially in the new year.

I will end this post with a hilarious picture of Joel.

"BITCHES WANT SOME SUSHI???????"

Venice

So we're in Venice which feels a bit like 1938 except for with cell phones. Old men walk together in posses smoking pipes and dressed ridiculously well. The buildings are all ancient looking and you feel like wherever you are walking could crumble and fall into the Adriatic Sea at any moment. Its sort of a wonderful and exciting feeling actually. Visually its like what every Disney park strives to be in its "medieval" town. You can feel the history in every tiny alley that you will enivetably because lost in.

Yesterday we took off without a plan or route and decided we'd just get completely lost and wander the streets forever. This was fun until we were hungry and had to pee a few hours later. Because of there being no other tourists in most of the places we went nobody spoke English and the extent of our Italian is Buongiorno and Grazie and Alfredo.

Asking for directions is 1/5 times helfpul. Often you will be sent in some random direction because there is no logical route to anything. You sort of have to make time for getting lost at some point. We went to St. Mark's Square which was really awesome but we had to walk through the busiest and most expensive area. Once we got to the square its hugeness was a very intense feeling.






Its majesty was cheapened by all the souvenir vendors, gondola hawkers, and ROSE SELLERS! A guy who's first language was neither English or Italian walked up and tried to shove a rose into our hands. We said we didn't want to buy anything and continued to walk away but he ran after us trying to put it in our hands. We said we didn't want to buy anything and he said: "No no no!" and I asked: "You're telling me this is free?" and he was like: "YES" and shoved it in my hand. I was like: "Um, okaay..." and we akwardly walked away. He followed so closely behind us I was constantly checking my pockets and looking behind me. He started saying: "Okay, just give me a little money..." and we said: "You said it was free!" and he said: "I have no job! No money!" I took one look at his Gucci jeans and Pumas and shoved the flower back in his hands and we walked away.

The first day we walked one half of Venice and then today we walked all over the other half. From St. Mark's we walked down to the Giardini Pubblici. Joel found a bathroom and the swings and that was fun. There was this big tortoise-shell shaped swing. There was also elderly exercise equipment.

‎Indirizzo:

VENICE

More too come.
Crappy expensive internet.
















Someone almost stole the camera. No joke.




















Mario. Venice's best dressed and cleavage afficionado.

London Calling

SOOO there was some kind of mechanical failure and we had to emergency stop in Montreal overnight. They put me up in a creepy Quality Inn but whatevs. My flight left at 10:30am Montreal time and I got here around 10pm London time. It was a bit of a nightmare but I was alone and had no baggage to drop off or check so it was all good.

On the plane I sat with my Nana in 20 years but Irish. She was ancient and asked me awkward questions like: "Do you think that man will bomb us?" and stuff.

I'm in London now at the hostel. I'm so tired. We have to leave in a few hours to go to Gatwick so I'm afraid I won't see ANYTHING in London. I just had a shower and I have sent Joel out to bring me food, contact lens solution, and razors. He is so happy I'm here I'm finding it easy to make him my slave. lol. Actually, its because I'm so dead tired I can barely keep my eyeballs open

I took the tube. It was ridiculously easy. I looked into the Gap and the Gap looked into me....

Packing List

This isn't so much a meme as a comment thread from Pajiba's Dustin's Eloquent Christmas Buying Guide.

This Christmas, if money were no object, what would you buy for:

1) Your Parents
2) Your Significant Other
3) Your Child(ren)
4) Your Best Friend
-------------------------------------------------------

1. I'd get my parents a vacation place down in Puerto Vallarta or maybe a place in San Francisco for the winter. (I know it snowed there this winter, but still, it'd be beautiful).

2. Malamute Puppy! He seriously wants one of these little guys so badly. Plus it would also be a bit of a gift for me because I will get to play with it and love it and snuggle it, but it will be his job to take it out to poo in the middle of the night and feed it and train it, etc etc.

3. For children I'm going to say Annie and Meredith because they are like little sisters.
For Meredith I'd get her a really nice condo downtown where she could have everything organized to her specific way and she could also sleep whenever she wanted to and watch whatever she wanted on tv. Maybe also a sexy live in butler.
For Annie I guess I'd get her some kind of Mr. Universe pad so she'd never have to leave her room and could just live from her office chair.

4. I'd get her a full wardrobe of regency period costumes and a country house with regency period staff where she could live out her life LARPing with Laura and whenever we visit her we aren't allowed on the grounds without regency costume.

Cyborg!

This was an email to my mum in the middle of the night, but I'd like to reuse it as a blog entry as I choose to convey the same message.

Pretty much discovered the best branch of anthropology tonight.

CYBORG ANTHROPOLOGY!

It was launched as a genuine subspeciality at the AAA (American Anthropological Association) in '93 but I've never heard about it before! Here's an article about it. (converted to HTML for convenience.)

I can't read the whole thing right now, but I just came across it in that article I brought from home ("Science, Technology and Human Values") and the thought of it has been exciting me. It reminds me of Susan Calvin (from the Asimov books) who's a "robopsychologist". I SHOULD BECOME THE FIRST ROBO-PSYCHOLOGIST!!

I can't wait for robots to start developing their own cultural pratices and beliefs. My own computer likes to turn French every hour or so. Is it right of me to make it understand English, when it's obviously its second language and we both speak both? Now that technology can "outsmart" humans, are they sentient and is it possible to "own" them? ARE THEY OUR SLAVES? I'm so distracted right now.

Christmas Music

There is only one good Christmas song in the world.




You know its true!

Russell <3's Obama

"Now, it would be churlish of me to take all the credit for his subsequent success but in his heart Obama knows that to some degree my wisecracking put him in the Oval Office and it's payback time."

Russell's Football Column in the Guardian

I miss him and Matt and Gee and Noelie so much... my Saturdays are bleak and cold without him and not just because its November.

I Love Meredydd

So beautiful....

I hate waking up in the morning, but something feels satisfying about waking up early and coming to work, being a friendly face, reading the newspaper, doing the crossword, etc. Then I get to go home at 3pm and feel like I was productive so I can just loaf.

In other news, Joel is telling me that reading books is "supporting the killing of trees"... Dear lord.

Check Out My Tight Protein Strands!

I'm so addicted. I've spent an hour folding protein.




FOLD IT!!!!

Lightening the Mood

This is funny. My friend posted it on Facebook and I want to post it on my facebook, but isn't that copying?

Poor Lonely Jen

She's not married with kids! LET'S GET HER!!!! *western society raises pitchforks and rakes*

This drives me nuts! I hate "poor lonely Jen" coverage. This is clearly the media's attempt to drive it into women everywhere that even if you are a gazillionaire and good at your job and have tons of friends- you are a complete failure at life if you don't settle down and have 18 hundred babies. I read this great article at Macleans about the whole situation (see below quote).




“This whole ‘Poor lonely Jen’ thing, this idea that I’m so unlucky in love? I actually feel I’ve been unbelievably lucky in love,” she told Vogue. “Just because at this stage my life doesn’t have the traditional framework to it—the husband and the two kids and the house in Connecticut—it’s mine. It’s my experience. And if you don’t like the way it looks, then stop looking at it!”
(source)

Seriously, if I'm ever a successful, beautiful, strong, independent woman- SHOOT ME IN THE SPLEEN! Not only would it disappoint me, but society as a whole.

Y'all Bitches

Sir, You Are No Relation To Me

Oh man. This is my favourite guy in the running for the new Doctor.

The Beeb is pretty conservative so who knows if they'd go for a black guy. Seriously though, he has that Doctory look to him. Then if his daughter comes into the mix people can be like: "um... wait..."

In other news a creepy French business man tried to bribe me to get the keys into the hostel to take like 12 of his friends. It was so sketch. He was like "What if $50 bucks from your dear Uncle Frank was in it for you?" and I said: "Still no..." It was so alarming. YOU ARE NOT MY UNCLE! AND EVEN THEN I WOULDN'T CALL YOU UNCLE BECAUSE YOU ARE CREEPY AND YOU'D LIKELY BE ESTRANGED FROM MY WHOLE FAMILY!

Sigh.

I hope tries something drastic to get into the hostel before realizing that its a prison and he can really do nothing to get in short of getting the code off someone. Even then, I guard the only door and have cameras everywhere. I'm like the controller BITCHES!

Wonderful Day

Today is excellent.

In my hot little hands I hold my valid Canadian passport and a plane ticket to London, UK. There I will meet my stunningly handsome boyfriend and we will backpack across Europe to his home in Norway. Then we will spend a perfect little Christmas together and I'll stay for a few weeks and then fly home :(

I'm so excited. My imagination is running wild! I won't be able to sleep for 39 days.

I Need Attention

Immediate attention.


Click for Big Version

Auf Wiedersehen, You're Out

Ahhaha I love this commercial. Imagine Heidi Klum just does this in her apartment.

Mr. Gee Is Brilliant

You Think THIS is Good!

So many more gems to come!

C'est L'Halloween

Yay FSL Grade 3!!!!

What Have I Done!!!

My love of creating senseless, yet relatively harmless gifs has come to THIS! WHAT IS THIS MONSTER I HAVE CREATED!!!



And why does it want to devour our souuuuls? Scariest frame RIGHT HERE. All the stills are on my flickr. Oh God... how did it all go so wrong....

P.S. Happy Halloween.... I was doing an asprin mask....

Dream A Little Dream of Me

Today I feel like I'll never stop being sick and the glow in my skin and hair will never come back and the day when I fly across the ocean to have a whirlwind romantic adventure will never come.

It's not a fun feeling. In fact, it's downright depressing. So I did what I do when I feel absolutely horrible... Do something OUTRAGEOUSLY silly.

Not a Rant or Rave

Hello Fudge Muffins,
I am almost done my very very sparse Christmas shopping. Meredydd and I decided to get all our Xmas presents from the same website on the same order so we could get free shipping. muahahha. Meredydd knows exactly when I'm getting her for Exmas. It is the lovely buttered toast wallet you see above. Sadly I could only get very cheap XMas presents for a few people. I have holiday stationary from a while ago and I intend to send Xmas cards to all my lovelies with a special Xmassy note, but sadly no goodies. You know, because of the christmas adventure.

Speaking of Christmas adventure. I got paid today and put about $800 into my line of credit to help pay for the ticket. Joel said he is paying for as much as he can while we're there but I still want to be able to pay my own way just in case. I will also send everyone lovely postcards of the places I'm going.

I met with Kat's wonderful beautiful Mum today and she graciously signed my passport papers as a guarantor. We chatted too and talked about hostelling. She told me about how she lived in a hsotel for about a month and met a ton of great people. I can attest to the fact that you will meet the most extraordinary people in hostels. It takes a lot of huevos to fill your backpack and experience the world. It sounds like a ton of fun, but its a scary thing. I'm actually quite terrified and I'm only doing it for two weeks.

In other extraordinary news, my current favourite blog has updated. Yes, the hilarious UPSIDE DOWN DOGS BLOG! I cannot express how much I am amused by upsidedowndogs. It make the internet a better place. It's making my horrific sinus infection not so bad.

Sachsgate

Russell Brand "quit" the BBC today. I'm totally pissed off at the BBC for using him as a scapegoat and all the attention whores (i.e. Georgina Sachs) who brought this about.

Watch his resignation video here.

Dear Russell and Jonathon,

Fuck the BBC! Do whatever the hell you want! You both make enough money to produce your own shit. Don't let them make money off of you and use you as a scapegoat for their own failings.

The End

Forget My Wishlist

For Christmas I want NOTHING! Not a sweater! Not a card! Not a twinkle in your eye! But if you were going to get me something like that anyway (say a $2 card) I beg of you to donate that money to my pay pal account as I am scrounging as much as I can to save for my Christmas trip. For example, if everyone in the Amanda Stanley Appreciation Group on Facebook donates $10 it will pay for all my accommodation and food.

Love in Unlikely Places

Sometimes when I'm very tired and have been studying all night and feel sick and homesick for old things and new things and I'm completely alone and need a perfect person to tell me the perfect thing to make me feel special and loved I turn to my old friend.

Halloween!

I shall be a Greek/Roman lady of some distinction!

Obama Fever

Another rant post. I don't mean to complain. I just calls em like I sees em.

Note: This entry excuses people who voted or who discuss Canadian politics as much as they discuss American politics.

All my Canadian friends seem to be talking about the American election. It's all OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA! but they didn't make an effing NOISE about our elections and Canadian candidates. We had a record LOW of voting this election. Our last voting peak was in NINETEEN FIFTY-EIGHT! (Courtesy of Dief the Cheif).

"Some 59.1 percent of eligible Canadian voters went to the polls Tuesday, breaking the previous record low turnout of just under 61 percent in 2004, according to preliminary results from Elections Canada released on Wednesday."

Good fucking job.

Before you get your panties wet for some American candidate, try being a responsible citizen in your own damn country first. Move there if you love him so much.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/reuters/081015/canada/canada_us_election_turnout

P.S. I think Obama may actually be Harold Saxon. Not that I want McCain to win, but that's exactly what Saxon would want.

New Season of Family Guy

I enjoy watching Family Guy as much as the next person, but occasionally it actually truly bothers me. Mainly when they make jokes about violence against women.

I watched the first few episodes of the new season and I'm so not impressed. Two jokes in particular really stick in my mind. One was a Dr. Seuss parody "Horton Hears Domestic Violence in the Next Apartment" where we graphically hear a woman being beaten and her sobbing and crying and begging for someone to help her and god knows what else in the next apartment. It was hard to watch. Not like Meet the Parents was hard to watch. It was hard to watch like watching orphans of war is hard to watch.

The other one involves Peter trying to get the waiter to give him a record in exchange for sex with his daughter.

Peter: Can I have that record? I love that song. I'll let you have sex with my daughter...

Waiter: I don't know...let's see what your daughter looks like.

P: She's...uhh...(pans past Meg to "hot" girl)...right there!

W: Ok, I'll do her. But can you tell her to cry and beg me to stop?

P: I think that can be arranged.

Please don't tell me to have a sense of humour about this. Think of three girls you know. One of them has been sexually assaulted. So not funny.

Don't Wish Your Life Away!!

I thought I wanted the time to go by faster. This was stupid because I have SO MUCH LIFE TO LIVE in 6 months!



My list of things to do before summer!

• go horseback riding! (before it snows hopefully)
• go to the movies at least every other month!
• skate on the Rideau Canal
• take a free gym class (tae cardio, total body conditioning)
• buy a second hand bike (for under $50)
• MAKE not BUY Christmas gifts for everyone I love (well, I can buy craft supplies)
• go to at least 2 concerts
• visit Picton for a weekend
• clean my apartment (I mean REALLY clean! scrub the floors and walls! clean under all the furniture! clean out the cupboards! etc... p.s. I might need help for this one)
• make sushi
• have a nice hot bubble bath (at the hostel probably! haha)

This isn't like my vow of celibacy, I'm really going to do it! (Oh god, that quote will come back to haunt me.)

Night 2: Why is it so easy to eat Ben &Jerry's in the middle of the night.

The worst is over. Got through first night alone with flying colours. For some reason, I was sicker today than yesterday, but at least I slept at a decent hour and woke up at a decent time so today will be easy to fall asleep.

Somehow my antenna is getting more channels than usual but I can't find Jon Stewart, I found Arrested Development however, which is really just as good. I can hulu Jon Stewart later.

In kitty cat news, Boris used to get um... "excited" at night when I first got him and he often would hump random things like pillows and socks and my leg... well he has randomly started doing it again. As soon as my sinus headache doesn't cause me to snap at the drop of a hat, I will clean the entire apartment and make everything nice and cozy for him.



My apartment is a complete disaster area right now and I hate it. I'm not truly comfortable anywhere in it. I think that this is also partly due to the fact that I have completely outgrown this little place. It was a wonderful first apartment and we've grown a lot in it. But I'm running out of room on my bookshelves and I feel like I'm always bumping into things. I have no place to store winter things in the summer or summer things in the winter. This spring will bring a much needed change in my evolution.

I'm going to sleep now. It's almost 1am which makes me sleepy. I'm afraid of waking up to Boris humping my foot.

♥♥♥♥♥

Scared Silly

He's leaving for Norway for six months. I will see him at Christmas. I can't handle thinking about it. It's so silly, I would make fun of someone else for being like this, but it's true and I can't pretend I'm not effing devastated.

Expression!

I feel like posting a gif to express how disgusting and sick I look/feel.


Why are gifs so addicting to watch?


lolz....


MERBEAR!

Do You Hulu

This is just about the best thing ever.





Now I shall watch ALL TV ALL THE TIME!

Also, does anyone know how to fix old timey desktops (JON?)? Meredith's computer is broken beyond my knowledge and she can't afford to get a technician in to fix it. This is quite upsetting.

Half Forty

I am a very stylish girl 20!

My birthday AND Christmas present is my bed so that's what I got from my parents. Plus they paid for not one but FOUR meals for me and my handlers which is pretty awesome. We also went to the Museum of Civilization and the art gallery and the IMAX.



We are the MYSTIC ELEMENTS!


I look like a cow slightly.


Oh Annie.


We met Tom Green who was eating next to us with his Dad and brother which was nice, except Joel get star struck really easily and may have startled Tom Green a little. Luckily they are both from North Bay and their dad's both work for the military. He didn't smear us with poo or anything, so that was a plus.

Tonight Joelio and I went to Tucker's Marketplace for my free buffet which was EXCELLENT. I had to be rolled home like a big fat blueberry child.

I just had a highly hilarious conversation with Alysson.

Alysson says:
also one is a butter face
||Amanda|| says:
what is butter face?
Alysson says:
everything's hott but her face
||Amanda|| says:
ahahah

Today Joel made french toast but put a little drop of vanilla into the egg/milk mixture and I almost fainted from sensual pleasure. It was wonderful.

Meredith got me a cake today which we will eat TOMORROW.

P.S. I wish there was something that could show you what livejournal mood you used most often.

Sleep In

I slept in. Boo. At least I got an extra hour and a half of sleep this morning so I'm in a really good mood. And also, my work gave me a birthday card which is exciting. Everyone from work signed it will funny little messages.

Rey Jr. said: "Happy Barfday".... -_-

I will post later as boredom consumes me. The family is here in 4 hours approx.

Joel and I went to the used bookstore tucked away next to the Bytowne last night. It was an excellent hole in the wall place. I bought John Hodgeman's "The Area of my Expertise" which I'm about to start reading now.

LOVE YOU ALL MY SAUCY POO PANS!