P.S. When I was younger I thought the song "Rolling on the River" was "Roland on the River"... I wish it was Roland on the River.
Somebody created a twitter client or the Commodore 64! I shit you not!
(Vandenbrande)
Never... EVER... EVER google "supervolcano" because you will not sleep again.
(Wikipedia)
A kid diagnosed themselves in science class. MedicalFail!
(CNN)
If a blog falls in the internet? Does anybody make a sound? 95% of blogs are ABANDONED! Like wells children always fall in. (New York Times)
Big surprise. Kid's grades improve 40% when they are paid. (New York Post)
No big, but an 11 year old boy got an astrophysics degree. BIG WHOOP. (Wood TV)
Then in the afternoon I played the sims, did the floors, and took some cough syrup for my flaring bronchitis. Three and a half hours later I gently awaken covered in cats and listening to jazz (oh god) and think: "Oooh, what a good sleep!" I check my phone to catch missed calls. I sleepily putter around my house for a few minutes and then it hits me. SHIIIT! Half an hour late to class! I throw all my stuff in my bag and start briskly walking to class. (Inflamed bronchi slowed my pace, but you know, there was effort.) It's a three hour class and they break every hour so I figured I could just sneak in during the 8pm break and catch the last two hours.
They were still in lecture when I got there so I decide to go get a coke to wake up. A toonie falls and rolls under the vending machine. I spend like 10 minutes on hands and knees trying to reach for the toonie. I just left it in the end. In 10 years when they remove that vending machine, some worker is going to have a fun surprise.
The class still hasn't gone on break so I figure that they went early or are just going straight until 9pm. I open the door and its so loud that I cringe and 500 faces swing around to stare at me. I slink into a seat in the back and open my laptop praying that I remembered to mute it before shutting down. Just as my computer (silently) boots up, class goes on break. *sigh*
I go down to my professor and apologized for being late and gave him my doctors note from last week. I was still half-awake and slightly upset so he just laughed at me and told me they were watching a movie so I could just go home and download it.

I can't find any pictures representing how awkward this evening was so I am simply posting a close up picture of this morning's Boris picture which showcases his awkward overbite fang.
P.S. I know everyone thinks that I'm a crazy cat lady, but my boyfriend and I are actually a crazy cat couple. He routinely yells: "AMANDA! GET THE CAMERA! THE CATS ARE DOING SOMETHING CUUUTE!" For this reason, I have a folder on my computer called Cats in Window Sill.

A friend related a story to me that put my boy into perspective. After much goading for him to clean the bathroom, this boy gets to it and rolls up his sleeves. My friend was passing the bathroom and saw him drop some cleaner into the toilet and slosh it around... and then he proceeded to scrub the outside of the toilet WITH THE TOILET BRUSH! Not just the rim and seat but the FLUSHY and the TOP OF THE TOILET! When she expressed her horror and ran for the Lysol he felt attacked... "I never do things right!" he cried. She had to explain to him, like a child. I imagine it went like this:
"You would never stick your hand in the toilet! Its diirtty! DIIIRTY Your pees and poos go in there, Sweetie! Then you put that icky poo water on the dirty brush and then put dirty brush doused in poo water on the handle that you TOUCH and where you put your BUM! No! Dirty!"
How men do not drop dead from dysentery we'll never know.
Hi y’all! It behoves me to inform you that I am at the Laundromat. I thought, hmm, what better place to write from!? I’m stuck here for at least an hour with nothing but my thoughts and about a dozen washing machines. The laundry was getting a little ridiculous and the amount of hand washing I was doing indicated it was time to actually buy a roll of loonies and get it all done. Joel has this oversized duffel bag that converts to a backpack. It holds EVERYTHING (besides towels, that’s another day). I’m thinking today I will do clothes and tomorrow I’ll do towels and linens. (I have two mornings off and don’t work until 4pm).
The small European woman was very shocked at my appearance. I’m wearing polka dot tights (only knee length) and a green plaid summer dress- but on my back I have this giant black mass. I essentially look like a giant Beetle walking down the sidewalk. “Why you do so much laundry!!” she demanded. I felt silly and embarrassed that I had left my laundry this long. I, ever quick on my feet, said that I have a roommate who pays me to do their laundry too. She seemed satisfied with that. I will have to keep up with this lie for the rest of my life as long as I know the Laundromat Lady. I think eventually in my “story” this other roommate will move out. (I would say it’s Joel but I had no boy clothes in my bag). Oh the tangled web of lies I spin to save myself from humiliation. Oh man, she’s making some kind of garlicky soup on a hot plate in the convenience store part. JEALOUS. When I got here, I realized I forgot my soap. (As I write, it is sitting out in little perfectly portioned hotel shampoo bottles on my coffee table. I thought I was so clever...); luckily there is the store in the back of the Laundromat. For two of those tide soaps (I split them in half) and a coke it was $3.15. Hmm... My father is deathly allergic to Tide soap so I will just have to never speak to him again. This is upsetting. We like to fail at fishing together and watch McHale’s Navy.
Let me paint you a scene: Wood panelling and drywall... Lime green and yellow floral print chairs, wooden benches and TONS of plants. The Maytags look fairly recent (some even take LOONIES) but the washers are ANCIENT looking. They are built into the wall so it’s safe to assume they’ve been here as long as this building. I’m going to attempt to paparazzo a cell phone picture without arousing suspicion, but the old lady is sneaky... I’ll have to think of a new lie to save myself from having to explain blogs and the internet. I just put in my dryer loads. They only take quarters... how long ago were loonies introduced? These dryers are at least before then. They are silent and efficient killers.
I’m typing up this blog in a word document because a) it looks like I’m working, b) it spell/grammar checks for me and c) because the stolen internet here is crap. AIM and MSN are working but browsing is at a slow crawl. Nobody is online either so its not like its a huge loss. Besides writing, I’m editing pictures of my cats (sigh) and taking in the blast from the past that is this Laundromat.
P.S. There is 100 points and a cookie for Ottawans who can correctly identify this specific Laundromat.
Perhaps I will still post about the Star Trek waffles because even when sad stuff happens, you have to keep on laughing. Plus, its not like he was my dad or anything. He's someone's dad, but not mine. Someone somewhere is probably going to blog about Star Trek waffles today and it may as well be me.
"Damnit Jim! I'm a doctor not a WAFFLE!"
Oh Scotty... he got a little scorched too. He was light and fluffy though. Just as you'd expect him to be.
I break my radio silence again today to tell you that my bronchisauri are inflamed. (I have bronchitis.) Joel is still living with me which is kind of up and down, but mainly up since he's found work. Not GIS stuff but working in a couple of restaurants. Him being home 24/7 and moping around was driving me nuts. Now that he has a job I hope he will find his own place. I doubt it though. He has no plan, he's all over the place. Sometimes he says he wants to stay here for the summer and sometimes he says he wants to go to Alaska... I don't know what's going on with him, but now that he's out of the house I don't really interact with him that much.
Sometimes I wonder if Disney has programmed me to expect the Beast to turn into a Prince just because I'm patient and loving.
I got a raise at work which is lovely, but I've been sick/away for a substantial amount of time since the raise. I have a big test tomorrow and I've not really been able to lift my head off the pillow today. I am emailing my prof to see what my options are. I doubt anything can be done this late, but I really didn't expect to be hit this hard.
So today I need to study study study (my test isn't until 7pm tomorrow night) and then I need to clean the kitchen and bathroom. I miss Meredith and splitting chores 50/50. If Joel moves out I totally want Annie to come spend a week or two with me. We can eat on patios and bake and have picnics and do DIY projects... do sister things.
Well, I just took some dimetane-expectorant and I feel I'll be mildly drowsy soon so that's enough of an update for now... Here are some cat pictures:
Sometime he can be very loving and considerate, like making me food, etc.. But he is often really really inconsiderate and rude. He probably the messiest person I know- I don't even want to tell you the things I've found on the floor, and if I tell him about a rule or ask him to do something, its like talking to a child. For example: "Do not eat in the bed" seems to be the hardest rule for him to understand. And today, he was playing GTA and Meredith was coming over so we could watch the new Supernatural before she went to work and asking him to stop playing GTA for 45 minutes was just about the worst thing I could ask him evidently.
Just now, (the reason I decided to post) we were making tempura. I normally never ever try to do any cooking related activities around him because he's very discouraging and is very vocal about how horrible a cook I am. I want to try so I dip in a little eggplant and its very gooey and I was laughing because it was clearly a disaster. He just said: "What a waste! Look at all the batter on your hands! Do you TRY to not do things right!?" He was completely serious too. I just didn't know what to say so I came into my room to write a good old post. (Writing it down makes it feel so much better.)
What bothers me the most is that even though he's completely sweet most of the time, the times that he's an ass and I call my mom to talk about it, she constantly thinks that either a) I'm being too dramatic or b) shouldn't expect him to be considerate, clean, etc because "straight guys don't understand why the dishes have to be washed and the shower scrubbed, when a perfectly good TV show is on or he's playing in excellent game of whatever" ... she goes on to talk about my dad saying "there's certain things he does do, so he does those, and I pick up the slack. In all honesty, we were suppose to be 50/50 with household chores, but the truth is is I do at least 75...maybe 90% of the chores."
I hate that anyone just accepts this sexist (toward both men and women) perspective. Partners are partners. It doesn't matter what their sex/gender is- if they are partners they are considerate, kind and don't expect the other person to pick up the slack. I've made it clear that as soon as he gets a job he has to start looking for his own apartment. I want to be with him, but I can't live with him. I refuse to clean up after him and argue about things like when I get to use my own goddamned tv and hear how horrible I am at cooking.
Phew, I feel better. I'm very grateful that he's here and I'm very happy he came back, but I just want us to be equal- I don't want to fight with him and argue constantly.
SPOILERS
In other news, I'd like to thank the following people for today:
- The popcorn girl who gave me a band aid
- Mario who also gave me a band aid
- The bus driver who helped me find Best Buy
- Meredith for going with me to Best Buy
- The row of unruly gentlemen behind us in the theatre (thank you for being quiet during the actual movie)
- Lastly, but not leastly: the Geek Squad guy at Best Buy who found a creative and sneaky way of fixing my problem for free in time tofinish up all my papers for this week!!
Many years ago during "Small Universe"
In Alaina's car trapped in the garage.
Alaina trying to get out of the parking structure.
Joel in Venice.
Joel in Venice 2
Meredith screaming "JUST GO" at Alaina trying to exit parking structure.
Meredith screaming: "RAM THEM!" at Alaina...
Meredith dancing and me filming her without her knowledge.
My signature move.
There are many many many more to come my chicklets.
Me:
Lucky
Insane
Excitable
Charismatic
Absent Minded
Dad:
Family oriented
Heavy sleeper
Natural cook
Handy
Flirty
Meredith:
Hates the outdoors
Good
Light sleeper
Clumsy
Bookworm
Now I just have to do Mom, Annie, Alysson, Joel, etc... Any suggestions? Here is the list of traits and what they mean. Also, people can't be conflicting. Like they can't be Good and Evil and they can't be both a light sleeper and a heavy sleeper, etc.
Reasons I Shouldn't Love Him
- his last name
- his fucking earing/nose ring
- he WOULD be on twitter
- this stupid jacket
- his horrible interviews ("True or false, did you choose that role because you got to wear an eye patch?")
- the way he kisses EVERYONE'S ass- its painful to watch
- his doughy, pasty face and his bad bad hair
- how he creepishly stares at people while he's interviewing them... like he wants to have sex with them or slow cook them
- how he interviews people for 35 minutes and doesn't edit (it would seem) the super boring responses... Strombo: You are not fucking James Lipton!!
"My cemetery is in Keepiscane [sp?]. It’s one of the prettiest in the world. Lovely trees, the sky is blue, the birds- the one in Las Copa [sp?] is really shit. What a pain in the ass you are. Its true- you’re not young and you’re not new and you do make people laugh. And me? I’m still with you because you make me laugh- so you know what I’ve got to do? I’ve got to sell my plot in Keepiscane so I can get one next to you in that shit hole Las Copa [sp?] So I never miss a laugh."
-Armand, The Birdcage
This was my favourite scene in the movie. I wish guys were allowed to kiss in movies back then.
Until a group started complaining that I wasn't doing enough "work"... Sigh. Here's the thing about group projects in university:
I have a group project for every class. 5 groups. Thats roughly 15 other people that I have to coordinate my life with. I do what I can do and I can't let one group get more attention than the others. It sucks but that's why group work is a bitch. Only this one group has complained that I don't participate enough (even though I devote more time to them than to anybody else.
Fuck this. I'm taking a break to make JELLO!
P.S. Tomorrow is the day Meredith and I are devoting to finishing our Umbanda project. UMBANDA DAAAAY!!