We'll Drive Home Backwards!

I'm at work- off my rocks on Red Bull. Mourning John Hughes...

I watched Ferris Bueller (I know, I'm a hard worker) and I am now depressed because I want to be Ferris. He really is my hero. Its easy to be a Ferris when all your friends are Camerons (I mean that in the best possible way) but I'd really love to be a genuine Ferris. Super confident and lucky... "How can I possibly be expected to handle school on a day like this?" has pretty much been my motto since grade 6 (Oh Mr. Stone... you dupe.)

I had a Mr. Rooney too- the great depths she took to catch me. They did one time when I faked a note to spend an afternoon with only girl at our school with a mohawk.

Back to work!
Sincerly, the Sausage Queen of Ottawa... (oh the imagery)

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People

I should really think before I speak.

I'm in class and we're getting back our papers and discussing our results and the horrible injustices of our marks, etc etc.

One girl next to me was grossed out by the presence of an eyelash in her paper. The fact that this grossed her out should have deterred me from saying:

"You could CLONE them! All you need is a healthy ovum!"

It didn't.

Crash 2.0

Twitter and facebook are hating me. I not really on the up and up as to why. Facebook won't let me post anything and twitter doesn't even load in my browser and won't let me log on via twitterfox. I tweeted from my cell but no dice. So yeah. The 2.0 has died- finally...

I called my bank to ask about some activity info on my account and to change it to the infinity transations (because I pay twice the price of the acount fee anyway).
The guy I talked to was seriously so dreamy. He sounded like the voiceover guy from the GM Reinvention commercials. ("Down to business indeed.") I almost opened a new savings account because of his delicious man voice. I assume he looks like a mix of Ryan Reynolds and Brad Pitt 15 years ago. (See composite image right.) In reality he's probably a total dweeb.

Anyway, I have to go to the bank and get loonies and then go to the laundromat and do laundry. I probably have like 5 loads of laundry to do. THATS 10 DOLLARS! Oh man... Ryan Pitt/Brad Reynolds- tell me how to SAVE ON EACH TRANSACTION!

Laundry!

I was tidying the bedroom today. I put all my dirty clothes in a bag to take the laundry tomorrow and put all of Joel's dirty clothes in his laundry bag. Little did I know, there was a "clean" pile and a "dirty" pile and I had upset the delicate balance.

I almost scooped up the bag and chucked it on the front stoop.

Quote of the Day

"So here we are with the first expansion pack for The Sims 3. World Adventures seems like a departure from the norm, though, isn't it? Expansions for the first two games were focused on nebulous themes, such as Night Life and Open for Business. But now we've got China, France, and Egypt? Does this represent a new direction for the series?" -From the IGN Interview regarding the new Sims 3 expansion pack...



Ah yes... a destination expansion pack... a great leap from ANYTHING the Sims have EVER done. A "departure from the norm" ... a "new direction" indeed.

Fear Spam

Last Fall I had received a few forwards from concerned family members in regards to an internet hoax that had them desperately worried. I have started receiving them again and just wanted to post an email that I sent around last year as a counter measure against this "fear spam". I received the email from a family member who works in public safety who had in turn received it from somebody in the police force- so its not that these people were silly, its just that they were so concerned that they forwarded the message without critically examining the details. The case I was discussing regarded a business card laced with a drug called "burundanga".

Here is the email! Forward it to all your friends!!


This story is an email hoax that I've received a few times this year based on an urban legend. Thanks for passing it on to me anyways. I don't want you to be scared unnecessarily, so I've done some research for you. You could send it to your colleagues as well and advise them to investigate the background of these stories because forwarding these kinds of "warnings" only spread fear and anxiety. I'm sure they've already caused you a great deal of anxiety. If I've learned anything from school its to think critically! (Which, of course, I've done tonight.)

A simple google search of "burundanga business card" comes up with tons of info. (Snopes is the most reliable source for overturning urban legends, but other hoax identifying websites like Hoax Slayer and Urban Legends have looked into it as well.) I think if you look at these websites you will see that the email sent to you was directly copied and pasted from the original hoax email. The websites also point out inconsistencies within the story, the description of the drug, and that there are NO credible sources on such an attack ever taking place- no police reports or news stories.

I.E. The story above is a fabrication. Two details betray it as such:

1. The victim allegedly received a dose of the drug by simply touching a business card. (All sources agree that burundanga must be inhaled or ingested, or the subject must have prolonged topical contact with it, in order for it to have an effect.)
2. The victim allegedly detected a "strong odor" coming from the drug-laced card. (All sources agree that burundanga is odorless and tasteless.) (from Urban Legends link above).
   

In women's studies this was brought up and we discovered that burundanga is also known as the Columbian "zombie drug" or "Columbian Devil's Breath" which is very terrifying and scary. We watched a documentary on it in the class which I can link you to here. It's real name is scopolamine. Its used in a lot of South American countries to take advantage of tourists. In Haiti, they use a similar drug to "zombify" a person ostracized by the community. Despite the real drug's terrifying effects, I have no reason to be afraid here. After lots of research, I've found no substantiated reports of it being used in the United States or Canada except as a treatment for motion sickness.

To ease your mind I refuse to touch anything strangers give me because normally they are normally religious propaganda or dirty hobos.

Pass THIS email on!

Brief Explanation

I'm aware of my radio silence and I apologize. I really have been focusing on other things lately like school and family and trying to keep my house clean. I've also rediscovered how much I love reading BOOKS with physical pages and a scent. So I have been reading online less. My focus brought me a B+ on a recent paper! I have another paper awaiting results and one more to write, so hopefully the added focus and time will increase my academic success. I really need to raise my GPA because its embarrassing right now.

P.S. I'm getting kind of fat. Acknowledging it makes me feel better about it.

Uncanny Valley

My new profile sim at thesims3.com!!























Of course, if you are interested she's available to download. To make her look exactly like the picture you'll need this stuff.

Skin: peggy
Eyes: rockermonkey
Hair: peggy

(p.s. Check out Motoki's post at MATY for non-conversion hairs!!!)

THAT IS ALL! Good day!

Hurty Brain

Help! Essay due in two weeks. Need to get a good start on it this weekend. I have a few pathetic ideas and I've mainly just been reading articles that are too broad to give evidence to any one topic.

How might [insert ICT of your choice] negatively affect [insert people/context of your choice]?
(ICT = information and communication technology... toaster isn't an ICT)

Before you get all excited I need to be able to find: 2 current academic sources (2007-2009) & 3 recent academic sources (2002-2009)... so don't make it something painful and obscure.

GIVE ME YOUR IDEAS!

(I know, its lame to ask you guys about homework, but I have two classes this summer and the rest of you are enjoying your lives/class-less summer, so just throw me a frickin bone here!)

Vertigo

MOM!
I found this picture in my phone. I must have been thinking of you. (She's deathly afraid of heights.)

OH! Also: Happy Canada to everyone!! I'm going to shower and enjoy some festivities. How about that!!??

Old Woman Look At My Life

Woo! I feel slightly accomplished today for getting my to-do list done before 4pm!
This was my grocery list:

• skim milk (they were out, I got 1%)
• bread
• eggs
• feta
• spinach
• triscuits
• avocado
• Riesling

Does this grocery list mean I have no personality? I got Rosemary triscuits? Does that add some spice? My cats have cool names! I'M ONLY TWENTY AND I'M SUPER COOL DAMNIT!

Tonight is date night with Joel as we both have the evening off. We are going to make feta-spinach-turkey burgers and salad and then afterwards we're going to go to the movies. Our anniversary is looming and we are thinking about investing in the Wall-E dvd as it was the first movie we went to together... I believe we also went to Zak's and Joel got the Tex-Mex burger and I got something with guacamole.

We really need this date night. We've been both been working so much that when we are together we normally have to discuss things like work, cleaning arrangements, bills, etc and we haven't had fun for some time. I feel like a lot of it is mainly my problem because I'm so anal and he's very laissez-faire. (He isn't THIS gross, but you know...) Last night he made/attempted to make brownies and then we watched Black Books and fell asleep. It was very relaxed and I missed that casual and fun interaction that we have somehow lost while living together. I'm hoping tonight and in the future we can regain our young, happy, relaxed relationship with each other and forget the chaos that is growing up around us and influencing our moods and behaviours.

ANYWAY tomorrow is Canada Day and Meredith and I have a full day of festivities planned. Step 1) sleep in because its the holiday Step 2) get snacks and sandwiches and go sit in the park Step 3) cross the bridge and check out the Mythical Beasts exhibit at Musee Civ Step 4) buy lemonade from the giant lemon Step 5) find a good spot to chill on The Hill for fireworks.

My professor this morning announced that my 8:30am class on July 2nd has been cancelled so I'm rejoicing because I can actually stay up late. I am not going to go out drinking because its horribly expensive and it will be so busy, but I'm glad that I get sleep-in day TWO!

The Tinsel Town Cryer

I love reading gossip blogs, science blogs, and feminist blogs. Of course I read Perez but take things with a grain of salt. I often feel he is pompous and melodramatic-but I guess that is how he has built his career.

However, I'd like to take this chance to say something really important:

Hitting a man "because he is an asshole" is like hitting a woman "because she is a bitch".

I just watched Manufacturing Consent and I'm thinking about when Chomsky was attacked for allegedly supporting hate speech. I don't necessarily support the views of this blogger, but I support 100% his right to express them- however silly and overly dramatic they may be, without the threat of physical violence.

An Amanda by Any Other Name Won't Smell as Rank

One of the guys I work with at the hostel's wife, Maria, is just learning to speak English and is working at the hostel as a cleaning lady. Today she practiced English with me and said that "Amanda" was her favourite English name and then I said "Maria" was the most favourite name in the world because my grandmother, mom and sister were "Marias". Its true, Maria is a good name. Except when you are a little kid and bullies call you Maria Diarrhea! She also commented that I was happy all the time, which is flattering, but perhaps its just because I often hum and sing quietly.

P.S. When I was younger I thought the song "Rolling on the River" was "Roland on the River"... I wish it was Roland on the River.

Amanda's Daily Cup of Links

Take that mental floss!

Somebody created a twitter client or the Commodore 64! I shit you not!
(Vandenbrande)

Never... EVER... EVER google "supervolcano" because you will not sleep again.
(Wikipedia)

A kid diagnosed themselves in science class. MedicalFail!
(CNN)

If a blog falls in the internet? Does anybody make a sound? 95% of blogs are ABANDONED! Like wells children always fall in. (New York Times)

Big surprise. Kid's grades improve 40% when they are paid. (New York Post)

No big, but an 11 year old boy got an astrophysics degree. BIG WHOOP. (Wood TV)

FML!!

So my day started well. Slept in until 9ish because Joelio didn't have to go to class until later. It was nice. Then we had waffles for breakfast and listened to music and giggled and stuff. Then I did some dishes, watched Marley & Me and had lunchie poo.

Then in the afternoon I played the sims, did the floors, and took some cough syrup for my flaring bronchitis. Three and a half hours later I gently awaken covered in cats and listening to jazz (oh god) and think: "Oooh, what a good sleep!" I check my phone to catch missed calls. I sleepily putter around my house for a few minutes and then it hits me. SHIIIT! Half an hour late to class! I throw all my stuff in my bag and start briskly walking to class. (Inflamed bronchi slowed my pace, but you know, there was effort.) It's a three hour class and they break every hour so I figured I could just sneak in during the 8pm break and catch the last two hours.

They were still in lecture when I got there so I decide to go get a coke to wake up. A toonie falls and rolls under the vending machine. I spend like 10 minutes on hands and knees trying to reach for the toonie. I just left it in the end. In 10 years when they remove that vending machine, some worker is going to have a fun surprise.

The class still hasn't gone on break so I figure that they went early or are just going straight until 9pm. I open the door and its so loud that I cringe and 500 faces swing around to stare at me. I slink into a seat in the back and open my laptop praying that I remembered to mute it before shutting down. Just as my computer (silently) boots up, class goes on break. *sigh*

I go down to my professor and apologized for being late and gave him my doctors note from last week. I was still half-awake and slightly upset so he just laughed at me and told me they were watching a movie so I could just go home and download it.

I can't find any pictures representing how awkward this evening was so I am simply posting a close up picture of this morning's Boris picture which showcases his awkward overbite fang.

P.S. I know everyone thinks that I'm a crazy cat lady, but my boyfriend and I are actually a crazy cat couple. He routinely yells: "AMANDA! GET THE CAMERA! THE CATS ARE DOING SOMETHING CUUUTE!" For this reason, I have a folder on my computer called Cats in Window Sill.

Calling Bullshit

To deem something "impossible" means you are aware of the parameters of "possible". If you say you are aware of the parameters of "possible", I call bullshit and ignore you.

Here is a picture of my cat:

House Husbands!

Oh Dear. I often feel overwhelmed with housework and take this out on my househusband (boyfriend). This morning he opened up, tears were shed, and I had to explain why I act like a "mean drill instructor". ("I always plan to pick the plates up off the couch! I swear!") I cut the guy a break because I love him and it pains me to see his big man tears. But also because he really honestly tries.

A friend related a story to me that put my boy into perspective. After much goading for him to clean the bathroom, this boy gets to it and rolls up his sleeves. My friend was passing the bathroom and saw him drop some cleaner into the toilet and slosh it around... and then he proceeded to scrub the outside of the toilet WITH THE TOILET BRUSH! Not just the rim and seat but the FLUSHY and the TOP OF THE TOILET! When she expressed her horror and ran for the Lysol he felt attacked... "I never do things right!" he cried. She had to explain to him, like a child. I imagine it went like this:

"You would never stick your hand in the toilet! Its diirtty! DIIIRTY Your pees and poos go in there, Sweetie! Then you put that icky poo water on the dirty brush and then put dirty brush doused in poo water on the handle that you TOUCH and where you put your BUM! No! Dirty!"

How men do not drop dead from dysentery we'll never know.

Laundro-FUN

Hi y’all! It behoves me to inform you that I am at the Laundromat. I thought, hmm, what better place to write from!? I’m stuck here for at least an hour with nothing but my thoughts and about a dozen washing machines. The laundry was getting a little ridiculous and the amount of hand washing I was doing indicated it was time to actually buy a roll of loonies and get it all done. Joel has this oversized duffel bag that converts to a backpack. It holds EVERYTHING (besides towels, that’s another day). I’m thinking today I will do clothes and tomorrow I’ll do towels and linens. (I have two mornings off and don’t work until 4pm).

The small European woman was very shocked at my appearance. I’m wearing polka dot tights (only knee length) and a green plaid summer dress- but on my back I have this giant black mass. I essentially look like a giant Beetle walking down the sidewalk. “Why you do so much laundry!!” she demanded. I felt silly and embarrassed that I had left my laundry this long. I, ever quick on my feet, said that I have a roommate who pays me to do their laundry too. She seemed satisfied with that. I will have to keep up with this lie for the rest of my life as long as I know the Laundromat Lady. I think eventually in my “story” this other roommate will move out. (I would say it’s Joel but I had no boy clothes in my bag). Oh the tangled web of lies I spin to save myself from humiliation. Oh man, she’s making some kind of garlicky soup on a hot plate in the convenience store part. JEALOUS. When I got here, I realized I forgot my soap. (As I write, it is sitting out in little perfectly portioned hotel shampoo bottles on my coffee table. I thought I was so clever...); luckily there is the store in the back of the Laundromat. For two of those tide soaps (I split them in half) and a coke it was $3.15. Hmm... My father is deathly allergic to Tide soap so I will just have to never speak to him again. This is upsetting. We like to fail at fishing together and watch McHale’s Navy.

Let me paint you a scene: Wood panelling and drywall... Lime green and yellow floral print chairs, wooden benches and TONS of plants. The Maytags look fairly recent (some even take LOONIES) but the washers are ANCIENT looking. They are built into the wall so it’s safe to assume they’ve been here as long as this building. I’m going to attempt to paparazzo a cell phone picture without arousing suspicion, but the old lady is sneaky... I’ll have to think of a new lie to save myself from having to explain blogs and the internet. I just put in my dryer loads. They only take quarters... how long ago were loonies introduced? These dryers are at least before then. They are silent and efficient killers.

I’m typing up this blog in a word document because a) it looks like I’m working, b) it spell/grammar checks for me and c) because the stolen internet here is crap. AIM and MSN are working but browsing is at a slow crawl. Nobody is online either so its not like its a huge loss. Besides writing, I’m editing pictures of my cats (sigh) and taking in the blast from the past that is this Laundromat.

P.S. There is 100 points and a cookie for Ottawans who can correctly identify this specific Laundromat.

Some Sad and Some Funny

David Carradine hanged himself. I am so shocked. I was going to post a lighthearted bit about my Star Trek waffles, but that all seems so silly now.

Perhaps I will still post about the Star Trek waffles because even when sad stuff happens, you have to keep on laughing. Plus, its not like he was my dad or anything. He's someone's dad, but not mine. Someone somewhere is probably going to blog about Star Trek waffles today and it may as well be me.


"Damnit Jim! I'm a doctor not a WAFFLE!"


Oh Scotty... he got a little scorched too. He was light and fluffy though. Just as you'd expect him to be.

Mucus Rising

Hello one and all!
I break my radio silence again today to tell you that my bronchisauri are inflamed. (I have bronchitis.) Joel is still living with me which is kind of up and down, but mainly up since he's found work. Not GIS stuff but working in a couple of restaurants. Him being home 24/7 and moping around was driving me nuts. Now that he has a job I hope he will find his own place. I doubt it though. He has no plan, he's all over the place. Sometimes he says he wants to stay here for the summer and sometimes he says he wants to go to Alaska... I don't know what's going on with him, but now that he's out of the house I don't really interact with him that much.

Sometimes I wonder if Disney has programmed me to expect the Beast to turn into a Prince just because I'm patient and loving.

I got a raise at work which is lovely, but I've been sick/away for a substantial amount of time since the raise. I have a big test tomorrow and I've not really been able to lift my head off the pillow today. I am emailing my prof to see what my options are. I doubt anything can be done this late, but I really didn't expect to be hit this hard.

So today I need to study study study (my test isn't until 7pm tomorrow night) and then I need to clean the kitchen and bathroom. I miss Meredith and splitting chores 50/50. If Joel moves out I totally want Annie to come spend a week or two with me. We can eat on patios and bake and have picnics and do DIY projects... do sister things.

Well, I just took some dimetane-expectorant and I feel I'll be mildly drowsy soon so that's enough of an update for now... Here are some cat pictures: