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An open letter to everyone in the entire world,


"everything's gonna be ok"

Just remind yourself, EGBOK. Today, after picking soggy hairballs from the shower drain, today when I thought "Boy, your boyfriend is really doesn't give a damn about you", today when I ate Kraft Dinner and the dairy caused tummy unpleasantness: I stood up, wiped the tears from my eyes and said to myself... "Self, EGBOK."

If you are feeling super horrible, like I was earlier, just remember that EGBOK. EGBOK. EGBOK.

We all feel crappy, and worthless, and dejected, and sick, and alone, and lonely, and unloved, and ugly, and useless, and dead, and, to be quite general, like the lint that has been blown out the window, not even loved by the fuzzy sweater from whence it was birthed, squeezed into life by heat and swirly air fluff settings, only to be rejected.... We are worth more then that! Even though you don't feel like it, you are worth more than that. I promise you that there is at least one person that loves you so much that they'd hurl themselves in front of a train, leap from the Grand Canyon or drop into a ravine of stampeding wildebeast just for you.

You may be the first person who invents a spray that vapourizes dog poo! You could be that person! So whenever you feel like giving up, just remember... EGBOK! For your sake, and for the sake of poo-steppers everywhere.