I'd hate him if I didn't love him so much!!

Reasons I Shouldn't Love Him
  • his last name
  • his fucking earing/nose ring
  • he WOULD be on twitter
  • this stupid jacket
  • his horrible interviews ("True or false, did you choose that role because you got to wear an eye patch?")
  • the way he kisses EVERYONE'S ass- its painful to watch
  • his doughy, pasty face and his bad bad hair
  • how he creepishly stares at people while he's interviewing them... like he wants to have sex with them or slow cook them
  • how he interviews people for 35 minutes and doesn't edit (it would seem) the super boring responses... Strombo: You are not fucking James Lipton!!
This is the first part of his giant Tom Cruise interview. The only good part is when he asks Tom if his friends made fun of him for the couch jumping and Tom responded that he deserved all the jokes he got about it. Tom Cruise works the words "download" and "hardcore" into his interview in a way that will mortify his children. Tom Cruise reminds me of my Uncle Steve in almost every way except the scientology thing.

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