Bracing Myself

Normally, in Canada, January and February are the coldest months. I can remember winters when the temperature was almost -40 celsius. Today it was about 2 celsius and tomorrow the temperature is supposed to rise to about 8 celsius. I'm extremely worried about getting a migraine. Luckily today is kind of a work week at school, so I don't have to worry about missing a lesson. (Maybe for math, but I can catch up on that easily.) I just don't want to risk it because everytime I go to school to see how things will work out I end up vomitting in the school bathrooms and having to explain Bickerstaff's Syndrome a hundred times while dealing with the flickering flourescent lights and the squealing, giggling girls who frequent this town. I think I will just stay home, I'll probably end up getting more done in the long run.


When I finish my papers on human mate selection and female beauty I'll post them here for the world to read, enjoy and criticize. They will probably go unnoticed, like all the other stuff I write, dismissed as a naive perspective on ancient topics or never seen at all. I wonder how many Oscar Wildes and Margaret Atwoods and Michael Moores are being obscured by the sheer amount of literature in the world, unable to be seen by the right people at the right time.


Last night the dog Marley from Marley and Me died in the book and I was so upset. Not angry-upset, emotional-upset. The dog Marley was just like Sandy in almost every way, right down to the bad habits and weird personality quirks. So while I was reading, I had come to see Sandy in my head as I was reading along. When he died I just broke down and bawled and sobbed. I had to wake up Sandy, who was sleeping peacefully and alive under the couch, and pull him to bed with me. Sandy is very disturbed when I am upset, and especially when I'm crying. His tail goes between his legs and he presses his forehead against mine looking me in the eyes. He somtimes tries to lightly lick away the tears on my cheeks. He lied at the head of the bed with me until I fell asleep, which is rare because he likes to sleep at the foot of my bed where my arms don't flail around and wake him up. Sandy slept right next to him where I could hold his long 'mane'. (I call it a mane because the hair around his face and on his chest is just like a lion's mane.) Normally I hold the end of his long fluffy tail, but last night he stayed face to face with me, risking bodily injury, to help me fall asleep. (He also does this when I'm having a horrible migraine.)


Well, I better try to get a little work done before retiring for the night. I get the feeling that I won't be going to school tomorrow, but I'd still like to wake up bright and early so I can get a lot of work done. I bet I can burn through a few projects and get them finished tomorrow so I won't have to crunch as bad at school for the rest of the week.

This week is blowing by quickly. I can't believe that tomorrow is going to be Wednesday. Exams are fast approaching, but so is my vacation to Mexico. I went tanning today again. (I'm going to try to go every night until we leave.) I'm also trying to get a little more exercise in before I go because I have to fit into my shorts and bathing suit from the summer when I swam and walked and jogged everyday. (Unfortunately, there is nowhere to run/walk in the winter. I might as well be trying to run in a stream. Maybe I will give it a shot tomorrow afternoon if it isn't too wet, but there will most likely be a lot of melting.)

I guess I better get a move on and get ready for bed. Maybe if I have a hot bath before I go to sleep I'll sleep better. My mom is watching The Constant Gardener which I'm really not in the mood for, so maybe I'll go watch something in my room or read.